Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I love you goodbye...

Four years ago...

I remember him telling me that he steals time away from his world to spend it in mine.

I remember him telling me that, while he is talking to God, he sometimes wonders if he is losing his mind, if he had already damned himself beyond salvation.

I remember telling him that I worried about him. That I had been there too, once, sitting in the silence, waiting for God to answer. And that sometimes silence is our answer.

I remember him telling me that he wanted to take care of me, that he wanted to be the one to worry.

I remember telling him that I didn’t think he knew me well enough to know what I needed.

I remember him telling me, “don’t worry. We’ll still be friends,” he said, “even after you don’t want to talk to me anymore.

Had I been paying closer attention, I could have written the script for everything that happened later. Instead I said what I always said:
"I love you goodbye."

Under a Cajun moon I lay me open
There is a spirit here that won't be broken
Some words are sad to sing
Some leave me tongue-tied
But the hardest words I know
Are I love you goodbye
I love you goodbye.

~Thomas Dolby

3 comments:

  1. this may sound completely lame, but reading this, god, I feel not so alone. I've been reading you for awhile, envious you live in Charleston, and just ended something that sounds like this. If anything, you touched someone tonight. Thanks ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had one of those once too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I enjoy your writing. In your magazine definitely, but especially here.

    I really have no idea what to think about love. Sometimes I think it is magic. Sometimes I think it's a complete illusion.

    ReplyDelete

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