Thursday, May 19, 2005

I got tagged...
I’ve been meme-tagged by Viv, who is not a lemming but cannot resist hurling herself off the cliff with them. Apparently, I can’t either.

I'm supposed to post the list of unfinished statements below, add one or two of my own, then finish 5 of them. Then I have to pick 3 other bitches to carry this godforsaken thing on.

If I could be an assassin's bullet
If I could be a member of the opposite sex
If I could be a list of blog questions
If I could be a ninja
If I could be a fly on the wall
If I could be a rodeo clown
If I could be totally at peace
If I could be a cat burglar
If I could be a supermodel
If I could be in a movie
If I could be an artist
If I could be a psychic
If I could be an emergency medical technician
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be a service member
If I could be an actor
If I could be a porn star
If I could be a chimney sweep
If I could be a masseuse
If I could be a taxi driver
If I could be a priest
If I could be the Sheriff Of Nottingham
If I could be on a reality TV show
If I could be a rich man
If I could be perfect
If I could be a comedian
If I could be a scary bear
If I could be a philandering wife

If I could be a member of the opposite sex it would probably take me a long time to figure out what how to work my new penis. Besides that, not much else would change.

If I could be on a reality TV show I’d trick everyone else into thinking I was really, really nice, but then screw them over during the final episode and win all the money.

If I could be a ninja, my first year would consist of nothing but kicking the asses of all of the people I think deserve an ass-kicking. Then I would get down to ninja business.

If I could be totally at peace...I’d save a lot of money on therapy (past & future).

If I could be in a movie it would be a movie about cheerleaders or drag queens and I would get to do my own stunts. And I would have super powers. And lots of wardrobe changes. And Keanu Reeves would be my co-star, but he wouldn’t have a single line.

The bitches that are up next: I choose Nobody, Melina, and Jackie (don’t hate me).

4 comments:

  1. I have a really hard time believing you don't know how to work peni. That's right, plural.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gah! Well at least this takes care of the void in my head that was me trying to come up with a Friday list. Thanks...I think.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you should be in a movie. Will you give Kee-Ah-New a full frontal?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Huh...this is one I haven't seen. I may have to swipe it!

    ReplyDelete

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