Friday, January 07, 2005

I'll take "Rhymes with Cat" for five hundred, Alex...
It’s hard to admit that one of my guilty pleasures is celebrity gossip. I buy an issue of People every now and then, surreptitiously read the Enquirer or Star in the checkout line of the supermarket, and have been known to let E! suck up countless hours of my time on a weekend.

Shameful declarations aside, I would give up my Entertainment Weekly to see Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a boxing ring together…or a “Skank Smackdown” cage match. I think we all know the scrappy Mrs. Federline would kick Paris’s scrawny ass.

Better yet, how about a battle of wits? They could go head-to-head on a Celebrity Jeopardy Special (Trebek can take the night off and let Ryan Seacrest host). The categories could be “Popular Truckstops,” “STDs,” “That Ain’t Grammar,” “Drunk or Stupid?” and “What’s That Smell?”

5 comments:

  1. I just signed up for the Have Nots! comedy improv classes which start Monday.

    After reading this, you may wanna give 'em a shot, too...this is comedy gold!

    With Celebrity Jeopardy able to have three contestants, could we throw in Ashlee Simpson into the mix, too?

    Then again, let's not.

    I think that may be one of the seven signs of the apocolypse...

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  2. I have a better idea -- make the third contestant you, KLo! You're microfamous, and you'd make them both cry. I would pay money to see that. :)

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  3. Superstar, remind me to tell you sometime about why I have trouble with funny when someone's pointing at me and saying "BE FUNNY!" (dammit). But pleasepleaseplease invite me to your "friends only" performance at the end of your class!
    Al, you know how much I would love to be on Jeopardy, particularly on Skank Night. But I think I'd rather see Ashlee Simpson ("I'll take US Presidents, y'all!") or the oldest Hanson brother.

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  4. Oooh! Or...Alex Trebek himself!

    I definitely think he's a moron in real life. A moron with really good French pronunciation.

    I wonder who would win...

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  5. no one wants to watch those girls try to be smart.
    How about brittany and paris in a super skank sex spectactular on payper view? Id pay to see that!

    [this is kevin by the way]

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